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Taliban Asserts Control Of North Waziristan; Tourism Dips

The Taliban has reportedly asserted control of North Waziristan- the famously wild mountainous region of Pakistan that borders Afghanistan. As a result- tourism in the area has taken a decided dip. As one American tourist commented- “I really like to visit places where television and music a Contd...

The Taliban has reportedly asserted control of North Waziristan- the famously wild mountainous region of Pakistan that borders Afghanistan. As a result- tourism in the area has taken a decided dip.

New U. S. Military Tactic To Quell Unrest In Iraq; Will Drop IQ Test On Insurgents
The U. S.- continuing to be troubled by the insurgency in Iraq- has decided to quell it by giving the insurgents an IQ test. The plan is to drop it from the sky as a leaflet. Meeting NewsLaugh/' s request with its usual candor- the military has given us an advance copy of the test- along wi...
Florida Man Attacks Alligator; Saves Golden Retriever
A Florida man- who went for a stroll by a pond with his 3-month-old golden retriever- heard the dog squeal and turned to see the unlucky pup in the clenched jaws of an alligator. The man- undaunted- leaped into the water and began to punch the gator in the face. Once- twice- three times....

As one American tourist commented- “I really like to visit places where television and music are forbidden. I’m also a big fan of summary executions. But- in the case of North Waziristan- I think I’ll make an exception.” The wifely half of an American couple who enjoy travel in the Middle East- said- “We’re so disappointed. My husband and I were really looking forward to a summer jaunt in North Waziristan. I hear it’s so wonderfully medieval.” President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan- an invaluable ally of the United States in the war on terror- affirmed his stance- by saying- “We are determined to find and destroy tourists wherever we find them.” Then he caught his apparent slip of the tongue- and continued- “I’m sorry. I meant to say ‘terrorists- ’ not ‘tourists.’”

John Updike Pens Novel, Called terrorist Critics Laud Originality
Adding another semiprecious stone to his distinguished crown as a royal purveyor of uneasy fictions- John Updike is touting the publication of his new novel- titled “Terrorist.” Since you may be uncertain about the subject of the book- it’s about a young terrorist in- of all places- Ameri...
New Minicomputer Fits Under Graduation Ring
As computers grow ever more compact- a new breakthrough in miniaturization is hitting the shelves of computer stores that should have great appeal to graduates and their elated parents. It’s a computer that’s so small it snaps under the stone of a typical graduation ring. So when purchasers...

However- the press was overwrought by his misstatement and whizzed it around the world in seconds. The rapidly spreading word-fire further discouraged recreational travel to North Waziristan. The sudden decline surprised some observers- since the region is rumored to play host to the world’s most wanted murderous scamp- Osama Bin Laden.

Human Population Surpasses 6.5 Billion; Other Species Protest
The dramatic increase in human population during the past century has resulted in humans encroaching more and more on the habitat of other animals. Until now- the other animals have continued to inhabit their various habitats wiithout taking offense. Now it appears they’ve had enough. To e...
Just Say No To Sex. Dr. Coburn Shows You How! (Installment 1)
(Extended spoof- presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the first installment; previous installments will also be on this site and at www.NewsLaugh.com- in case you miss one.) “Excellent- Dan! See you today for your first class- ” Dr. Richard Coburn told the university’s star...

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The decline has also made it more difficult for visitors to the area from the CIA to pass themselves off as carefree travelers.

Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com

Tom Attea- humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com- has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good- genuine laughs."

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