Bush Seeks To Heal Rift With Hollywood; Schedules Lunch With Jane Fonda
President Bush- troubled by the decline in his approval ratings- has decided to make a frontal assault on Hollywood- a bastion of his disapproval r
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Bush Seeks To Heal Rift With Hollywood; Schedules Lunch With Jane Fonda
President Bush- troubled by the decline in his approval ratings- has decided to make a frontal assault on Hollywood- a bastion of his disapproval ratings- by scheduling lunch with one of its most persistently adversarial spokespeople- Jane Fonda.
Mr. Bush said- “I look forward to meeting Contd...
President Bush- troubled by the decline in his approval ratings- has decided to make a frontal assault on Hollywood- a bastion of his disapproval ratings- by scheduling lunch with one of its most persistently adversarial spokespeople- Jane Fonda.
Human Population Surpasses 6.5 Billion; Other Species Protest
The dramatic increase in human population during the past century has resulted in humans encroaching more and more on the habitat of other animals. Until now- the other animals have continued to inhabit their various habitats wiithout taking offense.
Now it appears they’ve had enough. To e...
America: Still So Young No Americans Allowed
If sometimes- weighed down with the complexities of uneasy empire- we perchance wonder if America could be freedom’s fading star- it’s somewhat reassuring to realize that the nation is so young it still does not recognize the existence of Americans. Even the Indians don’t completely get the n...
Mr. Bush said- “I look forward to meeting with Ms. Fonda. She’s said so many outrageous things about me over the years- it will be a real pleasure to break bread- as it were. If I get through the lunch intact- I plan to move on to the next person on my guest list- Barbra Streisand.” The invitees were cautious- at least- in their public response to his overture. Ms. Streisand quipped- in her usually understated way- “I don’t mind singing for my supper- but do I have to sing for lunch- too?” Robert Redford- another of those invited- stated- “Well- if you ask me- the whole thing is a pretty slippery Sundance. He’s a former oilman- and I just came out against oil.”
Taliban Asserts Control Of North Waziristan; Tourism Dips
The Taliban has reportedly asserted control of North Waziristan- the famously wild mountainous region of Pakistan that borders Afghanistan. As a result- tourism in the area has taken a decided dip.
As one American tourist commented- “I really like to visit places where television and music a...
New U. S. Military Tactic To Quell Unrest In Iraq; Will Drop IQ Test On Insurgents
The U. S.- continuing to be troubled by the insurgency in Iraq- has decided to quell it by giving the insurgents an IQ test. The plan is to drop it from the sky as a leaflet. Meeting NewsLaugh/' s request with its usual candor- the military has given us an advance copy of the test- along wi...
Ms. Fonda was- unsurprisingly- quite vocal. “I have a lot of things I’d like to say to the President- but not over lunch. I’d be too upset to swallow without choking. Then he’d have the opportunity to perform a Himelick maneuver- and- besides the fact that I’d have to endure his touch- he’d get to brag that- while he was undecided for a moment- he went ahead and saved my life. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” Despite the early warning signs- the President remained upbeat.
Europeans Uncertain About Smoking Ban; Many Opt For Cancer
While Europeans generally support banning smoking in restaurants- many remain opposed to banning it in bars.
When interviewed- a British opponent of the ban said- “When I go to a pub- I like to smoke. I also like to inhale secondhand smoke. Then there’s the added benefit that the next da...
Just Say No To Sex. Dr. Coburn Shows You How! (Installment 1)
(Extended spoof- presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the first installment; previous installments will also be on this site and at www.NewsLaugh.com- in case you miss one.)
“Excellent- Dan! See you today for your first class- ” Dr. Richard Coburn told the university’s star...
...
“You know those Hollywood folks- ” he said. “They’re not all Republicans.”
Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
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The dramatic increase in human population during the past century has resulted in humans encroaching more and more on the habitat of other animals. Until now- the other animals have continued to inhabit their various habitats wiithout taking offense. Now it appears they’ve had enough. To e - America: Still So Young No Americans Allowed
If sometimes- weighed down with the complexities of uneasy empire- we perchance wonder if America could be freedom’s fading star- it’s somewhat reassuring to realize that the nation is so young it still does not recognize the existence of Americans. Even the Indians don’t completely get the n - Taliban Asserts Control Of North Waziristan; Tourism Dips
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