America: Still So Young No Americans Allowed
If sometimes- weighed down with the complexities of uneasy empire- we perchance wonder if America could be freedom’s fading star- it’s somewhat rea
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America: Still So Young No Americans Allowed
If sometimes- weighed down with the complexities of uneasy empire- we perchance wonder if America could be freedom’s fading star- it’s somewhat reassuring to realize that the nation is so young it still does not recognize the existence of Americans. Even the Indians don’t completely get the n Contd...
If sometimes- weighed down with the complexities of uneasy empire- we perchance wonder if America could be freedom’s fading star- it’s somewhat reassuring to realize that the nation is so young it still does not recognize the existence of Americans. Even the Indians don’t completely get the nod- because they’re still camped out on reservations.
We might see the persistent refusal to accept “I’m an American” as a recognized nationality- at least on the home front- as a consonant reflection of our mixed and matched heritage. But it does present us with inconveniences.
Tell a fellow American who asks your nationality- “I’m an American- ” and what does he say? “Oh- come on- tell me- really- what are you?”
“I just told you- ” you repeat- in your resourceful attempt to nationalize yourself- “I was born and rear-beaten in America.”
“No- no- ” your interrogator presses on- “I mean- where did your parents come from?”
Taliban Asserts Control Of North Waziristan; Tourism Dips
The Taliban has reportedly asserted control of North Waziristan- the famously wild mountainous region of Pakistan that borders Afghanistan. As a result- tourism in the area has taken a decided dip.
As one American tourist commented- “I really like to visit places where television and music a...
Toyota Issues Recall. GM Execs Celebrate
Toyota Motor Company announced that it is recalling over 400- 000 vehicles to remedy a problem with the steering mechanism. While the defect is unlikely to cause the driver to lose control of the car- the company decided to take the unaccustomed step- primarily as a precaution in regard to th...
“Well- ” you let out- “my mother was born in West Virginia.” “Then where did your father come from?” Now- you’ve been cornered- so you finally confess that he came from here- there- or wherever. Let’s say Ireland. And what does your pouncing interrogator reply? “Oh- so you’re Irish.” Actually- the only time you get to be an American is when you’re likely to suffer the slings of outrageous interactions in distant lands.
Carbon Dioxide Builds Up In Atmosphere Makes Running Bases Harder
While the buildup of greenhouse gases- particularly carbon dioxide- may be welcome news for plants- which- of course- breathe it in and breathe out oxygen- the benefits are not so apparent to human beings- particularly athletes- especially during the summer- which is- of course- the...
Debate on Global Warming Reaches Hurricane Strength
As the hurricane season heats up- so has the debate about the extent to which the severity of recent hurricanes is due to to global warming.
Advocates howl that warmer ocean temperatures- which encourage the atmosphere to bestir itself- are due to an increase in heat-trapping greenhouse gase...
“Oh- so you’re an American- ” you/' re told- usually in a tone that intimates at least a slight reprimand- as soon as the securely French- Italian- or whatever person you chance to chat with determines you’re from the USA. And- no matter how much effort your make to elude detection by speaking in the tongue of your assailant- the nonchalant accusation pops to the fore as soon as your first Yankee twang intrudes.
Human Population Surpasses 6.5 Billion; Other Species Protest
The dramatic increase in human population during the past century has resulted in humans encroaching more and more on the habitat of other animals. Until now- the other animals have continued to inhabit their various habitats wiithout taking offense.
Now it appears they’ve had enough. To e...
New U. S. Military Tactic To Quell Unrest In Iraq; Will Drop IQ Test On Insurgents
The U. S.- continuing to be troubled by the insurgency in Iraq- has decided to quell it by giving the insurgents an IQ test. The plan is to drop it from the sky as a leaflet. Meeting NewsLaugh/' s request with its usual candor- the military has given us an advance copy of the test- along wi...
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Will Durant- the popular (dare we say American?) historian- estimated that it takes about eight-hundred years for a country to develop a civilization. I wonder how long it takes short of that to develop the nationality that might achieve it.
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